Towards his family

Towards his family

Before his marriage, he was never seen with Khadijah nor was it ever heard or said that he was intimate with women

Despite Prophet Muhammad's youthful power and liveliness he was never influenced by his urges and desires as a consequence of the virtues of chastity and nobility that he possessed. Before his marriage, he was never seen with Khadijah nor was it ever heard or said that he was intimate with women. For instance, even after he migrated to Medina, in his old age, he married several women, but each marriage was based on expediency.

If he had intended to seek gratification, he would not have married older women. It was very easy for him to marry beautiful girls to obtain pleasure, but he condemned those who considered marriage as a means of obtaining pleasure only.

The Prophet's first wife was Khadijah, daughter of Khuwaylid ibn al-Asadi, who belonged to a well-known family. She herself was regarded to be the First Lady of the Quraysh. She was endowed with chastity and honesty, and for this distinction, she was called al-Tahirah (the pure one).

She was one of the wealthiest traders in Mecca. She had turned down several noblemen of the Quraysh who proposed marriage to her, believing that they were after her wealth. The well-known moral virtues of Muhammad the Trustworthy attracted the attention of Khadijah. She found in him the qualities that she had long been searching for and married him.

Unlike most marriages prevalent at the time, their marriage did not occur out of love for position, wealth, beauty, financial and material gain, or for ostentation. Rather, it was a marriage based on moral homogeneity, love of virtue, spiritual union, and mutual affection, giving it permanence. This marital union played an extremely effective and useful role in the propagation of the call of Islam and the encouragement of the messenger of God.

Khadijah, a virtuous and self-sacrificing woman, always shared her husband's pain and comfort and consoled him in the face of hardships. She gave away all her wealth to the needy for the exaltation of the proclamation of Tawhid (the Oneness of God(.

Khadijah was the first woman who converted to Islam and prayed behind her husband. The Blessed Prophet married no other woman as long as she was alive. After her death, he re-married and treated all his wives kindly and justly without giving preference to one over the other. Whenever the Prophet intended to go on a journey, he would draw lots among his wives and would take with him the one to whom the lot fell.

He was not morally rough but especially kind and tolerant. He tolerated the bad-temperedness and foul language of his wives, even when some of them were so bold as to disclose his private secrets and annoy him by plotting and colluding, to the point where Qur'anic verses were sent down admonishing and reprimanding them.

After the wars with Banu Nasir and Banu Qurayzah (the two Jewish tribes), some of his wives fantasized about an aristocratic and luxurious life and demanded jewelry, knowing that the treasures of the Jews were now in possession of the blessed Prophet.

 

The Prophet, who did not want to sacrifice social justice for the whims of his wives and let the public Muslim treasury be used privately, refused to accept their demand and paid no attention to their rough words. Abu Bakr and Umar, who were informed of this matter, were determined to punish their respective daughters A'ishah and Hafsah, but the blessed Prophet prevented them from doing so. He just contented himself with keeping away from them.

After one month, it was ordered, based on the Qur'anic verses revealed on the occasion, that he should let his wives choose one of two alternatives: if either of them was still interested in being his wife, she should abandon seeking an increase in wealth, live a simple and contented life, and be hopeful of more reward. However, if either of them preferred the luxuries and glitter of this world, then the Prophet should release her in a fair manner.

The blessed Prophet elevated the status of women to the level of full human beings who had the right to independent possession of their lives and property. He always, even in the last moments of his life, recommended getting along with one's wife; that is, observing the needs of a woman's primordial nature and exemplified this in the following way: A woman is like a rib which will break if you try to straighten it. You can benefit from it if it remains as it was made (by Allah).

The order of creation and the limits of human primordial nature cannot be changed, and some things that can be done by men cannot be done by women, and within the order of creation each one has his/her own position and talents. The Prophet emphasized that women should be treated kindly and said: All people have both good and bad qualities and a husband should not just consider the bad qualities of his wife and hate her, because when he is displeased with one bad quality in her, he becomes pleased with that one which is good and these two points should be considered together.

Prophet Muhammad also cursed those who fail to struggle for the comfort of their family, saying: One who neglects his family and leaves them alone is deprived of the mercy of God.

He treated his children kindly explaining that, "Our children are an integral part of us."‌ He was hard-working in nurturing his children and taught them the etiquette of Islam. He used to say:

Fatimah is part of me, and she is my heart and soul, and whoever offends her offends me.

And: Hasan and Husayn are from me and I am from them.

When the Prophet would go into prostration, Hasan and Husayn would climb on his shoulders and he would either prolong his prostration until they got down, or slowly put them down and rise from prostration. He embraced them and kissed their cheeks and faces. One day, one of the people present with the Prophet saw this and commented, "We never kiss our children."‌ The Prophet responded: What can I do for you if God has removed from your hearts the feeling of compassion?

Another day, when he sat Hasan on his knee and kissed the child's face, one of the people said: I have ten children, and I have never kissed any of them.

The Prophet looked at him and said: One who has no compassion for others is not entitled to compassion (from God).

The Prophet not only caressed his own children but he was also affectionate towards the children of others and embraced and greeted them. Furthermore, the blessed Prophet's love and affection did not stop there. He also embraced his servants.

Anas ibn Malik narrates: I served the Prophet, peace be upon him, in his house day and night for ten years and he never said to me Why did you do that?' after I had done something or Why did you not do that?' after I had neglected to do something. He never said a word of contempt to me.

In short, he treated his family kindly, not strictly or severely and said: The best of you is he who is the best to his family, and I am the best among you to my family.

 

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